How to make your farts smell better

Parsley powder

Have you ever had a bunch of stinky farts and wondered if there was something you could do about it?  Well, there is.

  1. Parsley – I don’t know why parsley works, but it does.  It can even improve the smell of dog farts and stinky dog breath.  If you eat parsley with every meal, your farts won’t smell so bad any more.  There’s something about the nutrients in parsley, or an oil or something that just helps to improve the smell of your breath and your farts.
  2. Enzymes – Eating fruits and vegetables that contain enzymes is one way to help clean up your digestion.  Enzymes help your body to digest food that may be sitting in your digestive system, getting older and stinkier.  Some foods that are especially beneficial for cleaning and maintaining a healthy digestive system are pineapple, papaya and raw ginger.  Other foods that contain high levels of enzymes are sprouts and lactic acid bacteria beverages.
  3. Lactic Acid Bacteria – Fermented products like yogurt and kefir contain high levels of lactic acid bacteria (LAB).  LAB can be very beneficial for improving the overall health of your digestion.  There is evidence that shows lactic acid bacteria help to reduce depression, improve overall health and reduce the odoriferous qualities of our gaseous excretions.

Eating a diet that is high in protein and fiber can lead to extra flatulence.  Farting can be caused by eating some specific food, or by bacteria in the gut that covert sulphurous compounds into gaseous forms.

Apparently Fiber One bars and cereal may cause horrendous farts in some people.  I’ve read a couple of blog posts already where people complain about farts caused by their breakfast cereal.  Fiber and protein are dangerous things.

One caveat concerning lactic acid bacteria, is that they tend to cause extra farting.  See, they cause extra farting, but they also tend to reduce the stinkiness of farts, so it’s kind of a trade-off.  This is a good thing for people like me who find farting to be relaxing and who prefer not to offend.  Some people are offended no matter what you do.

parsley powder
behold the stinky fart fighting power of parsley

Fresh parsley costs between $0.30 and $0.50 per bunch in the supermarket around here.  It’s really good for you and it adds a nice bright green-ness to smoothies and sauces.  Parsley also contributes a clean kind of flavor to many dishes.  One way to make sure that you always have parsley on-hand is to buy dried parsley powder, or grind your own parsley flakes to make your own.  Parsley flakes are pretty common, so you can usually find them in the bulk spices department of a restaurant supply store.

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